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66,0

Ate everything yesterday and ate everything today and will probably gain a million pounds now.

I am so mad at myself.

I worked so hard and now I ruin everything within a day or two.

"Tomorrow I'll" yeah whatever the fuck tomorrow might be worse even though it's hard to eat more than I did today.

WHY AM I SO DUMB???????? What's wrong?? I'm so afraid of tomorrow. Afraid of THAT number..  It has become so important for me, it's almost like.. the only thing I want.. I want that number to be smaller and smaller than smaller but I keep on fucking it up.

I don't know.

It used to be easier.

I didn't gain during the trip.

And now I've become such a fat ass in just a few days.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! 

GETTTTT YOUR LAZY ASSS OFF THE COUCH!!!!