What is it bout men?

69.0

Hello lovelies! 

My weight was at 70-71 for quite a long time. Tried to keep doing whatever I'm doing (trying to eat around 1000 kcal a day, less than 40g fat and more than 40g protein) and today I finally reached 69kg. Can't wait to see number 5, altough there's a long way to go.

I got my paycheck (hellllll yeah!!) and bought myself a new kitchen scale. Right now my mom is here and so are my brothers - they are cooking all the time and it's hard to count the calories if I'm not making the food myself, but I try to keep away from fatty foods and junk. They are going back home on  Monday and I hope they will not leave the fridge as full as it is today.. I also planted some tomatoes and paprika in my greenhouse and my mom brought some cucumber plants too. Looking forward to eat all that fresh stuff coming straight from my garden.

~*~

I can't help it, I just have to write it down - I always go for the guys I find intelligent, educated and smart (which also means I don't hook up with many of them) and it's such an disappointment when it turns out they're dumb as fuck! But not as dumb as I am.

No hangover

71.1 today (with some clothes on)

Had a huge eating party yesterday, I ate ice cream, loads of soup, french fries, chocolate, more ice cream, pelmeny and then french fries again. But that's not the main problem. I failed one of my exams last semester and this semester I took the exam again.. I expected something like D or C, maybe B. But when I found out I'd earned max points and my first A, I was happy as fuck and decided to celebrate. So the problem is, I also had a drink or two.. or well, I don't even remember how many!! And I'm not even having hangover today, WTF!!!! (usually I drink hard and then the next day I'm not able to eat hahaha), so today the eating party continues and I don't know if it will ever stop.. I don't have any willpower right now. Also I moved home, no shops around here. If I buy groceries, I buy for like a week advance so that I have LOADS of food at one moment and I just eat and eat and eat. I don't even know why am I so hungry all the time? What's wrong with me?? WHERE IS THAT FUCKING HANGOVER?? Bah wah.

Back

71.1 before I went to see my parents

71.1 when I came back

70.6 the day after which I find amazing because I spent whole sunday working at a cafe.. Luckily didn't have too much time to eat.

70.2 today (dunno how, just didn't feel hungry yesterday.. I need more days like that)

Today I went to the gym, but also ate tons of food so idk

Let's hope it won't be at 71 again, I wish I could see number six on my scale already

I'm quite stressed, no idea what to do with my life.

71.2 the day before yesterday

71.6 yesterday

70.9 today

Didn't have a scale for a few days but it seems like I'm kinda stuck around 71. At least I can see the reason why - I've binged more than once and some days I wasnt able to choose what I eat. I went to work for two days, it's physical and tiresome and no eating is not an opinion. Also, taking my own food with me isn't possible because of my financial state so I ate anything they provided me at work which was mostly gross but full of many calories yey. Then I was fed by my granny (great food but even more calories) and tomorrow I'm going to visit my family, no idea if I can manage there. 

So yesterday I ate muffins and an omelette for breakfast, salad (rice, tomato, ramson, soy sauce and sour cream) for lunch and later two muffins before going to gym. Yes - I actually went to the gym, got some vouchers from work and I should use those before I move out of this town. I've never been to gym that big before, the one near my home is big enough for like 5 people max and this one had 2 floors and a ton of equipment so I had fun!! I was quite embarrassed because it was full of fit people and I didn't really match the scene however as you can see I did lose some weight so it was worth going. I'm trying to be positive and lose a little more weight and then go again.

70.9 yesterday

70.6 today

sucks to be me

So, it's been a long time. 1,5 years or something. 

During that time, I gained a lot weight. I once even saw 76 (168) on the scale (holy shit), but luckily I've managed to get rid of a few kilograms. Basically, it's thanks to those hangover days when you want to eat but everything makes you puke. Talking about vomiting then I've almost gotten rid of this bad habit which is niceee, but sometimes it does happen. 

I started going to university. I chose to study civil engineering which was a mistake, MISTAKE. I haven't dropped out (yet), but I feel it's not my thing at all. I haven't had much time to worry about my cuz my studies require so much time and nerve. A lesson learned - there's no point to study civil engineering if you don't understand a shit about physics. And if you don't give a shit. My main problem is the fact my parents have been so supportive, although they moved to another country and they're quite far away. I have no idea how to tell them (now, while writing this I realized I should tell them asap, called my daddy and he was quite ok with this). Alright.. Also, my friends are very supportive, I've made peace with my loved ones. And maybe I'm getting along with myself a little better.

About food - my cash flow is well eh ok I don't really have much money so I buy whatever I find cheap.  I guess there are some vitamins I'm lacking. I'm not starving myself, hopefully I will not gain everything back in like a week or something. Let's see how it goes this time.

all over again

70.3