67.5

Yeaaaahhhh it works!! I'm doin the right thing.

I'm pretty much out of food now, but my parents are coming home so they'll bring some.

I hope they buy something I can eat.

I have also rented a room in nearest city and will be working there for month and a half. So I hope during those 10 days I have with my family, I will not eat crazy.

68.6

Hey! I've had numbers like 68.0, 68.1, 68.3 and I reached 68.6 today. I've still no idea if I should cut calories or continue eating the same way. I think I'm trying 1200 calorie-ish for a few more days and in case I still gain weight, I will go a little lower. My family is coming over for a few weeks, so it will be more difficult to eat as I'm not the only one cooking. 

I'm hoping the 68.6 is just temporary because I did over eat yesterday, but also burned the calories - I was working at fast food stop until 2 AM which was tiresome and then ate some (plus some more) fries with mayo sauce and salad afterwards, drank some sugary juice and had probably a little less than 2000 calories, I don't know because I didn't weigh the fries or sauce and I can only guess. Today I did gardening for hourssss (can't wait to eat my own cucumbers and tomatoes) and ate ~1150, net should be like 600-700 but again, I'm unsure of how many calories I burned - I can only guess.

68.1

I've been partying and had fun last week. Eating? Good. Drinking? Horrible. Most of my calories come from alcohol but it also means I don't have cravings the day after thanks to lil hangover. :) I still find it a little hard to eat when being social.

I've been eating a lot of tomatoes, cucumbers, tuna, buckwheat, protein curd cream, skyr, cottage cheese. I also bought three cartons of ice cream two days ago (becose it was cheap!! Had to!!) and so far I've eaten only 108g of it (success).

I binge ate last Saturday, but I stopped at around 2700 kcal (I'm glad it's just 2700 not around 5000 like my former binge sessions used to be). It's ok. There was also one party where I didn't drink anything and it was still fun so I'm planning to do it some other time, too. If someone needs a sober driver for parties I'm glad to go (where I live - we have zero tolerance for drunk driving so basically if you drink only a beer you can't drive for hours).

xo

69.9 yesterday

69.1 today

 

 

My 230-calorie lunch yesterday

 ~1100 kcal for two days straight. I'm having a bunch of work stress so I could eat like 3000 a day, but eating is under control.

Otherwise, feeling quite like in this song, the only exception being I know he's no good.

 

Back?

69.0

It's been a long time. Some 360 days or something.

Well, things are totally OK right now.

I think the lowest I've been at during that whole year was 68 kg or something. Not 100% sure. Highest was 75, in February I went skiing with my family, ended up eating whatever I could. I think I'm almost done with my ED. Done with not living for myself, done with stupid men. Last time I chucked up was like a week ago, but before that - I don't even remember. I've been counting calories on MFP for 16 days (started when the school ended so less stress, more time), eating normally, 900-1200 kcal a day. In that time I've already lost 4 kg so I think my metabolism has recovered well enough and my body isn't trying to keep every single gram of fat.

Started spending more money on quality food and also I eat more protein now. My new favourites are tuna, cottage cheese, lentils and stuff. I snack less, because I feel full enough. Overall, I've had a great year (the only shit part is my love life partly because I don't have enough time for all this crap). 

This was my lunch today, pasta with tuna, 372 kcal, carbs-fat-protein 40-8-34 and it kept me full for hours!!

I haven't really decided if I'd like to keep this blog because it does remind me of how broken I was, but it doesn't really hurt to see I've improved.

xo