laupäev, 25. juuni 2016

67.5

Yeaaaahhhh it works!! I'm doin the right thing.

I'm pretty much out of food now, but my parents are coming home so they'll bring some.
I hope they buy something I can eat.

I have also rented a room in nearest city and will be working there for month and a half. So I hope during those 10 days I have with my family, I will not eat crazy.

neljapäev, 23. juuni 2016

68.6

Hey! I've had numbers like 68.0, 68.1, 68.3 and I reached 68.6 today. I've still no idea if I should cut calories or continue eating the same way. I think I'm trying 1200 calorie-ish for a few more days and in case I still gain weight, I will go a little lower. My family is coming over for a few weeks, so it will be more difficult to eat as I'm not the only one cooking. 

I'm hoping the 68.6 is just temporary because I did over eat yesterday, but also burned the calories - I was working at fast food stop until 2 AM which was tiresome and then ate some (plus some more) fries with mayo sauce and salad afterwards, drank some sugary juice and had probably a little less than 2000 calories, I don't know because I didn't weigh the fries or sauce and I can only guess. Today I did gardening for hourssss (can't wait to eat my own cucumbers and tomatoes) and ate ~1150, net should be like 600-700 but again, I'm unsure of how many calories I burned - I can only guess.


pühapäev, 19. juuni 2016

68.1

I've been partying and had fun last week. Eating? Good. Drinking? Horrible. Most of my calories come from alcohol but it also means I don't have cravings the day after thanks to lil hangover. :) I still find it a little hard to eat when being social.

I've been eating a lot of tomatoes, cucumbers, tuna, buckwheat, protein curd cream, skyr, cottage cheese. I also bought three cartons of ice cream two days ago (becose it was cheap!! Had to!!) and so far I've eaten only 108g of it (success).

I binge ate last Saturday, but I stopped at around 2700 kcal (I'm glad it's just 2700 not around 5000 like my former binge sessions used to be). It's ok. There was also one party where I didn't drink anything and it was still fun so I'm planning to do it some other time, too. If someone needs a sober driver for parties I'm glad to go (where I live - we have zero tolerance for drunk driving so basically if you drink only a beer you can't drive for hours).

xo

teisipäev, 7. juuni 2016

69.9 yesterday
69.1 today

 
My 230-calorie lunch yesterday

 ~1100 kcal for two days straight. I'm having a bunch of work stress so I could eat like 3000 a day, but eating is under control.

Otherwise, feeling quite like in this song, the only exception being I know he's no good.

 

pühapäev, 5. juuni 2016

Back?

69.0

It's been a long time. Some 360 days or something.
Well, things are totally OK right now.

I think the lowest I've been at during that whole year was 68 kg or something. Not 100% sure. Highest was 75, in February I went skiing with my family, ended up eating whatever I could. I think I'm almost done with my ED. Done with not living for myself, done with stupid men. Last time I chucked up was like a week ago, but before that - I don't even remember. I've been counting calories on MFP for 16 days (started when the school ended so less stress, more time), eating normally, 900-1200 kcal a day. In that time I've already lost 4 kg so I think my metabolism has recovered well enough and my body isn't trying to keep every single gram of fat.

Started spending more money on quality food and also I eat more protein now. My new favourites are tuna, cottage cheese, lentils and stuff. I snack less, because I feel full enough. Overall, I've had a great year (the only shit part is my love life partly because I don't have enough time for all this crap). 

This was my lunch today, pasta with tuna, 372 kcal, carbs-fat-protein 40-8-34 and it kept me full for hours!!


I haven't really decided if I'd like to keep this blog because it does remind me of how broken I was, but it doesn't really hurt to see I've improved.

xo

reede, 12. juuni 2015

What is it bout men?

69.0

Hello lovelies! 
My weight was at 70-71 for quite a long time. Tried to keep doing whatever I'm doing (trying to eat around 1000 kcal a day, less than 40g fat and more than 40g protein) and today I finally reached 69kg. Can't wait to see number 5, altough there's a long way to go.

I got my paycheck (hellllll yeah!!) and bought myself a new kitchen scale. Right now my mom is here and so are my brothers - they are cooking all the time and it's hard to count the calories if I'm not making the food myself, but I try to keep away from fatty foods and junk. They are going back home on  Monday and I hope they will not leave the fridge as full as it is today.. I also planted some tomatoes and paprika in my greenhouse and my mom brought some cucumber plants too. Looking forward to eat all that fresh stuff coming straight from my garden.

~*~

I can't help it, I just have to write it down - I always go for the guys I find intelligent, educated and smart (which also means I don't hook up with many of them) and it's such an disappointment when it turns out they're dumb as fuck! But not as dumb as I am.

esmaspäev, 1. juuni 2015

No hangover

71.1 today (with some clothes on)

Had a huge eating party yesterday, I ate ice cream, loads of soup, french fries, chocolate, more ice cream, pelmeny and then french fries again. But that's not the main problem. I failed one of my exams last semester and this semester I took the exam again.. I expected something like D or C, maybe B. But when I found out I'd earned max points and my first A, I was happy as fuck and decided to celebrate. So the problem is, I also had a drink or two.. or well, I don't even remember how many!! And I'm not even having hangover today, WTF!!!! (usually I drink hard and then the next day I'm not able to eat hahaha), so today the eating party continues and I don't know if it will ever stop.. I don't have any willpower right now. Also I moved home, no shops around here. If I buy groceries, I buy for like a week advance so that I have LOADS of food at one moment and I just eat and eat and eat. I don't even know why am I so hungry all the time? What's wrong with me?? WHERE IS THAT FUCKING HANGOVER?? Bah wah.